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My birthday is January 22nd, but I’m writing about it almost a month later. That’s because it took almost a month for me to stop feeling “numb” about living here, a busy city that is an ocean’s distance away from my home at the quiet lake. Everywhere I turn is lovely to look at, and there’s just so MUCH to appreciate: the old Alsatian houses, gift boutiques, cafes with tiny espresso cups and spoons, and candy shops filled with colors, all with beautiful history and decoration for the season. I love the cobblestones, churches, and winding hidden streets with little images painted on the walls of the structures around them. It’s amazing, but it’s also tiring. I love it, but I can’t get used to it. I haven’t even seen a deer in a whole month, there are pigeons everywhere instead of squirrels, and I miss the peace and quiet of dirt roads through the forest. But, my birthday was a good day.
We had a meeting with our program in the morning, and typically I don’t like a fuss on my birthday, but it was nice when they sang to me! And I was given a yummy pastry with a little red candle in it (which I kept). And my parents sent me flowers! A “country style” bouquet, which I absolutely loved (I kept and dried some of the flowers later). My fellow Accès members and I had a quick walking tour of the campus where we’d be studying. That helped me a lot, because I also looked for possible lunch places. Alex told us that we can eat at the university café once we get our student IDs. That evening, Ida suggested a little party for dinner! I thought, “why not?” because I usually don’t do stuff like that. She’s originally Italian, and she made pizza! As an appetizer she made fried “pizzatas”, some with pesto and some with red tomato sauce. Two friends joined me, Ida, and Ashley (the woman who is living with Ida during her internship at the Council of Europe). We drank champagne and Alsatian beer. I brought Orangina (my favorite drink here!) and peach iced tea. And for dessert, Ida made me a beautiful cake with mascarpone cream and crunchy colorful chocolate pieces on top! It was better (in my opinion) than any restaurant dinner. Of course I miss home, but the biggest reason I said I felt “numb” about being here is that I keep asking myself, “What am I doing here?” I am always a little frustrated with myself when people ask why I’m studying French or what kind of job I plan to look for. I don’t know. What are my goals for studying abroad in France? If I think hard enough, I can come up with probable reasons as to why I picked French instead of any other language to learn first, and honestly I just want a job where I feel fulfilled, which is most likely something that involves service towards other people in some way. My dad told me that I can’t see or know right now all the ways that my semester here will affect me in the future and the insights I’ll gain. I shouldn't be scared that I won't learn anything useful for my future from this trip because right now there's no way to tell. And yes, I’ve been here a month, but I have 3 more months to go. I just have to be alert and keep my options open. One of my favorite professors told me that I'm exactly where I should be, whatever that place is. Here's a quote that my brother's fiancée texted me that really helps me feel at ease amidst my worries about the future: "Peace; it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, worry, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm within." |
AuthorHello! I'm Elda, a French/Anthropology major and Applied Language Studies minor studying in Strasbourg for a semester. Archives
May 2019
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